Unpopular Opinions

Something definitely shifts when you turn 50. Maybe it's cliché, but at least for me, there is something about being half a century old that just removes the "I need to be liked" filter a little bit. I've spent 50 years smiling at people when they say or do idiotic things and following social cues. Outside of maybe the look on my face, which people closest to me know is my "what did you say?" incredulous face, I think I've pulled it off pretty well. But while my birthday celebration was delightfully low-key, my thought filter process sort of just shut down.

Now, I'm not saying I blurt out every thought that pops into my brain. I'm not that kind of person. But suddenly, I felt a little urgency to say some things before I die that most definitely do not fit the status quo. I'm not sure I've ever privately been very "status quo," but publicly I try not to make too many waves.

However, that brings us to today. A month ago or so, I put up a fuss about why I don't participate in "No Mow May," and frankly, it was cathartic. This past Friday, my favourite car, an excellently maintained and cared-for Subaru that served us so well, burned on the side of the road. My son hit a deer, or the deer hit him, and it severed something flammable that caused the car to burst into flames. Mercifully, my son was unhurt. Good Samaritans (they still exist) helped him save some of his stuff and get to safety, and we do carry good insurance.

But seeing the crusty hull of my beautiful Jasper Forester in the junk yard was rough. Shit happens. I'm a lot calmer about it all at 50 than I would have been at 20. That's something.

And this is MY blog.

The internet is full of rude, obnoxious people sharing their opinions. The louder and more idiotic people are, the more they seem to be rewarded. This is not that. I may offend you, but what I'm doing here, for the small bit of the world that might read these, is just the service I've been providing for my children and loved ones for many years. It's the "I know jumping off a railroad bridge sounds like an amazing rush, but have you thought a few minutes past that feeling?" sort of blog.

I see a lot of people doing something because, well, everyone is doing it, or they're afraid to think differently from the crowd. They don't actually think through their plan before posting or executing it without a second thought about potential consequences. Then you have your trolls—who I don't really understand (where do they find all the time? Do they not have jobs?)—whose life mission is to piss off as many people as possible just to see if they take the bait. I'm discovering this is the new mode of bullying, and it's most definitely not limited to children. Adults are much, much worse.

And if I'm honest (and I'm going to be henceforth), this is partially why I resist the Instagram and Facebook promotion of my business or even my personal life. I'm an introvert, and I like the internet well enough for information—though it takes heavy discernment these days. But even I know that a Facebook friend you've never met in person, someone who was a friend in high school but you haven't seen in 30 years, or worse yet, "followers" (an apt name for reasons I will probably touch on later)—those people are not the same as a real friend.

A real friend is the one who shows up to pick up your kid when you can't, listens to your midnight text rants and still meets you for coffee or lunch. Or if you're a guy, the friend who will show up to help you complete a put-off chore on his day off so you can mark it off your list. Those are friends.

So, if you haven't guessed yet, this is my way of introducing upcoming blogs that may be unpopular.

But I hope they at least make you think.

—A